Picking Your Battles

I teach Junior Great Books at our elementary school and my last class had four boys who got pretty rowdy at times. I'd say "Boooooys" in a threatening tone and glare at them until they settled down.

It took me awhile to get used to the whole "it's okay to show your anger to your class" philosophy. Now I realize that kids need to see their role models losing their temper in a controlled manner. I don't hold a child's misbehavior against them, and they don't hold it against me if I rebuke them by name. They quiet down and we move on. It's standard operating procedure in a classroom.

A couple weeks ago my middle-school daughter came home with a video that she'd taped with her cell phone on the bus ride home that day. It had snowed, and the roads weren't too great. The kids in the back of the bus were shouting and screaming, making the bus driver even more edgy. She finally lost it and started screaming at the kids.

I talked with my daughter about whether the bus driver's actions were appropriate (no) and if there were extenuating circumstances (yes). I asked my daughter if she felt threatened by the diatribe (no) and in the end, I didn't complain to the school.

I'm sure some would say I made the wrong decision. My daughter didn't think it was necessary, though, and I let her make the call. She did think that someone might file a complaint, though, which is why she turned on her cell phone and taped everything. Smart kid.